Close Only Counts in Horseshoes
by Liam Needsom
Summary: He's suave, sophisticated, debonair... So why is it is so hard for Lee Stetson to catch a break when it comes to romancing his partner? Continuing this slightly AU version of our OTP that began in "Partner is More Than Just a Word".
1. (Let's Give 'em) Something to Talk About

_Even over the phone line Lee could hear the way she took in a deep breath and made that humming noise that said she was about to launch another attempt to persuade him to take her along._

" _Well then, I'll come with you and watch your tail. And that way you won't have to come all the way over afterward to pick me up; we can just go straight to the bank for my appointment."_

" _No you won't come with me, Amanda – my tail doesn't need watching for a simple trade-off – and you don't need to explain to your mother why you're leaving the house at four in the morning!"_

" _I could just tell her we have to be on set early."_

" _Amanda, she knows you have that appointment with the loan officer! She must know you're not going anywhere."_

" _I hate it when you're right," Amanda grumbled after a long silence._

" _Can I get that in writing?" he teased her._

" _I still think you shouldn't be down there by yourself at that time of day. You know any friend of Augie's is just bound to be trouble."_

" _And yet somehow, I feel like you might stick out like a sore thumb among the girls down on 14_ _th_ _Street, Mrs. King."_

" _Well then, take Francine. Don't-tell-her-I-said-that!" she added in a rush as Lee shouted with laughter._

" _I don't need Francine either," he switched to a reassuring tone. "It's a simple switcheroo. I'll be done in ten minutes and I'll pick you up at nine after I take everything back to the Agency, ok? Look, Billy's just walked in and I gotta go, I'll see you in the morning, Amanda."_

" _Lee, I-" All she could hear was the dial tone._

"You alright, Lady?" The cab driver was gruff but concerned as he looked at Amanda in the rear view mirror.

"Oh yes, I'm fine," she answered trying to smile. "It's just been one of those mornings, you know? My car's broken down, I missed an appointment and now I'm late for work!"

 _And Lee promised it was a simple switcheroo and that he'd be at my house an hour ago._

She'd managed to hold it together in front of her mother and the boys but now in the safety of the back of the cab, she'd given in a little bit to the worry that had been gnawing at her since Lee hadn't shown up, but trying not to give into full-blown fear. Calling the office hadn't helped – Mrs. Marston wouldn't say anything beyond "Mr. Stetson is not currently available" – which she knew all too well could mean anything from Lee being in a debrief meeting to a hospital. Except he would have called, she knew he would have called if there'd been any way he could have, because he'd know she'd worry.

 _I should have gone with him. If anyone knows better than me that the simplest courier run can go wrong…_

"Here ya go, safe and sound." The cab driver's voice broke through her trance and she looked up at the front door of the Agency, with something akin to dread. What if all her fears came true? She paid the driver, thanked him robotically before taking a deep breath to try and quiet her racing pulse, then pushed the door open to greet the receptionist with some semblance of calm only to find… Lee scurrying up the stairs, apparently without a care in the world.

As he stuttered to a stop at the sight of her, guilt written all over his face, she let the overwhelming relief funnel out of her in a blast of outrage. "Don't you say anything that might make me say something I would soon regret!" Even as she began to yell, she was scanning him, looking for signs of torn clothes, gunpowder burns, blood – anything that might explain why he'd never shown up. It was only when he'd come back down the stairs, with an expression that suggested that if he had a tail, it would be between his legs, that she'd seen the telltale smudges of lipstick on his cheek and one spot in the middle of his shirt that was missing a button.

 _I was worried sick and you didn't show up because you got tangled up with one of Augie's friends?_

She knew – probably better than anyone – that he wouldn't have been tangled up _that_ way but somehow, knowing that she'd let herself work herself up for nothing, made her feel foolish and the fact that Lee kept giving sidelong glances at Mrs. Marston, as if he were more concerned about what she might overhear than anything else, gave her fury with him extra fuel.

"I have a property tax bill that's going to be due in a few days, my lawnmower and my station wagon have made a suicide pact with each other, and my two small boys are going to have to put their tiny little goldfish on the auction block, all because somebody who was supposed to give me a ride to the bank this morning to see the loan officer, forgot to pick me up!"

Lee knew she was angry, and knew her well enough to know that she wasn't angry about the fact he hadn't picked her up. God knows, he'd been on the other side of it often enough, worrying when she didn't show up somewhere on time, especially given how often she actually had been delayed by kidnappers, KGB agents, arrests… And he had every intention of apologizing, grovelling even – once they were out from under the eagle eye of Mrs. Marston who was displaying every sign of enjoying this little contretemps in front of her desk.

"Why don't you try the Agency credit union?" he asked desperately, trying to distract her long enough to get her out of the lobby and their audience. "Better rates…"

"They won't give me a loan!" said Amanda, her sing-sing tone emphasizing the exaggerated patience, well-aware of what he was trying to do. "You have to be a full-time agent!"

"We could work it out," he interrupted her.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on!" she answered, and started to suck in a breath to launch at him again, a breath that she suddenly couldn't find when he blurted out his Hail Mary pass.

"I'll co-sign."

In the sudden complete silence that followed, Amanda heard the tiny gasp from Mrs. Marston and turned to look at her. The older woman beamed at her and Amanda was overcome with a sudden desperate desire to laugh. Lee seemed to have no idea what he'd done, but she did, and it was only with great difficulty that she was keeping something like a straight face now.

"You would?"

"I sure would!" Lee's face had lit up, certain he'd derailed the argument that had been burgeoning.

"Well, thank you very much," she began to answer but then Lee cut her off, trying to sidetrack her with the case Billy had just assigned him. She was willing to let him as long as it got them out of the foyer and the fond look on Mrs. Marston's face. Coming to a sudden decision, she tried to find her righteous outrage of a few minutes before.

"You have lipstick on your face."

Lee, who had thought he was in the clear, began to look panicked as he realized the argument had simply shifted to a new topic. "It's not what it looks like."

Amanda shooed him up the stairs. "Yeah, well, it isn't your color anyway." She waited until they were almost at the top of the stairs and added for the receptionist's benefit. "You really gotta tell that girlfriend of yours to check you for stuff like that before you leave your apartment in the morning."

When Lee slowed down and looked like he was about to ask her what she meant, she gave him a small shove and forced him into the small hallway that led to the Q Bureau.

"What girlfriend? What are you talking about?" he asked after she closed the door behind them.

Amanda rolled her eyes at him. "I was just trying to distract the dragon downstairs. Honestly, I love that you want to help me out by co-signing on my loan, but that pregnancy rumor was just finally starting to die and now she's going to be down on her coffee break telling everyone that you're my sugar daddy!"

"Oh my God, I never even thought of that," admitted Lee with a sheepish look. "Sorry."

"Well, it's not any worse than any of the other things they've thought," she answered, with a smile. "So what's the real story with the lipstick and the button?"

"Button?" Lee looked confused and peered down at his shirt. "Oh man, I almost forgot that. That was Beaman."

"The button? Or the lipstick?" she joked.

Lee looked up at her, laughing. "Pretty sure this isn't his color either. No, he's such a klutz, he pulled the button off my shirt while he was trying to take off my transmitter. I swear I don't know how that kid ever got a job here."

"Really? He seems like a pretty smart guy," answered Amanda, hanging her sweater up. "I heard Billy was even going to ask him to teach some of the rookie classes."

"Are you kidding? He's like some kind of nervous poodle – he starts shaking any time he has to say two words to me. The only time I've seen him close to coherent is when he was drunk and hitting on Francine at the party last year. Like he'd even stand a chance there," he added with a laugh.

"Well, maybe that's because he's-" Amanda stopped herself from finishing that sentence. If Lee hadn't figured out Efraim Beaman had the world's biggest crush on him, she wasn't going to draw his attention to it, in case it made him uncomfortable. For an agency full of observant people, it still amazed her that people missed things that seemed so obvious to her. Like how Efraim had immediately made everyone in the place think he was mooning over the most unattainable woman in the joint so that no one would ever question why they never saw him date. You'd think Lee of all people would recognize the trick, having honed it to a skill, but he was remarkably oblivious.

"He's what?" asked Lee, looking up from his desk where he'd pulled out a map of the city.

"He's aiming high," she answered diplomatically. "Nothing wrong with that."

"Well, he's never going to get Francine into bed or even onto a Greek island, no matter how hard he tries," said Lee, starting to look for the first address on his list.

"I'm sure you're right," she agreed, still trying not to laugh. "Do you at least still have the button? I can fix it before we go back out if you want – I have a sewing kit in my purse."

"Of course you do." Lee looked up at her half admiringly, half laughing. "Nah, it'll be fine – I'll just keep my jacket zipped up for now."

"It's no trouble," she started to insist.

"Amanda, it's fine," he said firmly. "I don't need-"

"To be mothered," she finished for him. "I know."

"Actually I was going to say I don't need to worry about a button when we have a dead guy to identify."

"Oh. Well, yes, you're right."

It wasn't until they were back downstairs and climbing into the Corvette that Lee began to tell her what had really gone on earlier that morning.

"…So I got stuck fighting with the vice cops and then by the time I got back and Beaman had done his worst on my shirt, Billy had me by the ear and was hauling me into his office to discuss this guy." He waved the photo of their John Doe at her, before putting it down on the dashboard.

"That reminds me," she answered, pulling out a tissue. "C'mere." She took his chin in her hand and turned him so she could start wiping off the last traces of the lipstick with a Kleenex she'd produced from thin air, as near as Lee could tell. "Vice cops, huh? You really need to start having your simple switcheroos in better neighborhoods."

"Yeah," he agreed, grabbing her hand to stop her. "Amanda? I really am sorry about this morning. I know you were worried but I just couldn't get anywhere near a phone to call you in time."

She looked at his hand where it was still holding hers and ran a finger over the scraped knuckles that were the evidence of the mess he'd been in this morning. "Well, I'm not going to lie – of course I was worried. But you know what I hated the most? That something worse might have happened and I should have been there to watch your tail, no matter how simple it was supposed to be. What if this had been worse, and you didn't have backup?"

"What would you have done if you'd been there?" he teased. "Because I bet you wouldn't have stayed in the car."

"I don't know," she confessed. "But it would have been better than sitting at home worrying."

When he laughed softly, she pulled her hand from his and shook her head. "No Lee – I know you think I'm just being silly and mother-y, but it's not that." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Did I ever tell you anything about my dad? Ok, well he and Mother met when they were really young – when she was 15 and he was 17, but they were one of those teenage romances that lasted, you know? The war broke out right about the same time and when he turned 18, he signed up right away because that was what you did, right?"

He nodded, not really sure where this story was going.

"So once he got shipped overseas, it was years before they saw each other again – they only had letters for years and years, but somehow, when he finally got home again, they still managed to make it work, even though now he was this 22-year-old who'd been through too much and she'd gone from a teenager in high school to a college sophomore. And they'd talk about it sometimes, how the separation was hard, and he'd tell stories about freezing in trenches, but Mother always said she had the worst part of the deal because at least he was actually _doing_ something and all she could do was sit home and worry."

Lee nodded again, watching her face as she got lost in the memories of those family stories.

"When my dad was alive, he and Mother never left the house without kissing the other one goodbye. They'd lost too many people, you see. Boys from their families, friends from school, people they never got to say goodbye to because the war had everyone all over the world faster than they could imagine – and that kind of hung over both of them, I think. They always had to make sure there'd been nothing left unsaid. It was really important to my mother that she was with Daddy when he died, so they could say goodbye properly." She glanced at Lee, seeing the understanding in his expressive eyes. "And when J.C. was in the hospice, it was just the same – every night when we left to go home, we made sure to hug him and give him a kiss goodnight and tell him we loved him because we never knew if he'd still be there the next day."

"I'm so sorry," Lee said softly.

"I know," she smiled at him, although he could tell she'd teared up a bit thinking about her brother. "But I told you all that so you'd understand…"

"Why you won't stay in the car?" When she nodded with a faint smile, it suddenly clicked. "That's why you gave me that speech that night in the swamp, isn't it? Just in case."

"Yes," she admitted. "I needed to know I did everything I could, and look, I know you're perfectly capable of looking after yourself, but you know I'm going to worry about you, so can we make a deal? You try to stop telling me to wait in the car and I'll try to stop worrying so much."

"Sometimes there's a good reason for you to wait in the car," he pointed out.

"And when there is, I'll do it," she promised. "But if there's something I can do, I want to be _doing_ something to help- and I could have helped this morning, and you know it!"

"And there was a lot of good reasons you weren't there this morning, Amanda! You need to be home with your family at that time of day, not trailing me around the red light district!"

"Fine. But you could have taken backup. Efraim Beaman could have gone with you."

"And done what? Trembled the vice squad loose?"

"He might surprise you," said Amanda. "You didn't expect a housewife to show up and rescue you from Mrs. Welch, did you? He's a trained agent, Lee – just because _you_ frighten him to death doesn't mean he couldn't be useful. Anyway, you're getting me off topic. Just…whether I'm your partner… or something… either way… if you have to go off and do these things without me, can we not leave it like we did last night, with you giving me the brush-off..."

"I wasn't giving you the bru-"

Amanda kept talking as if he hadn't tried to interrupt. "So that I never have to wonder if it would have been different if I'd been there?"

They stared at each other for a moment, Amanda expectantly, Lee thoughtful. Suddenly his face lit up with the easy grin she loved even though she knew it meant he was up to something.

"What?" she asked, trying to hide the tremor of laughter in her voice.

"If I agree, does it make a difference whether you're my partner or _something_? Or will I get a hug and a kiss every time I leave the office either way?" he asked, eyes dancing.

"Lee!"

"Couldn't hurt to ask," he grinned, turning the car engine over and starting to pull out of the Agency garage.

Amanda was blushing and staring out the car window so he only barely heard her grumble under her breath. "Couldn't hurt to try either."


	2. Jazz Hands

Lee was watching Amanda as she in turn watched King Eddie and his family arrive. She was smiling to herself, obviously content to see them reunited this way.

"They look really happy," he commented quietly. "Think Eddie will be taking his queen back to Cap D'Far?"

"Hard to say," she answered. "They're not the same kids they were when they got together the first time, but that might work in their favor – the king certainly seems to have grown up a lot in the last few days."

"Yeah, I think Cap D'Far is looking at a whole new future between Eddie finally starting to act like a grownup, and a prince in the wings who seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders."

"Well, Terry had the advantage of not growing up like Eddie – trapped on a tiny island with too much time on his hands. I think getting to spend so many years as a normal person will help him out later."

"You and your normal people," Lee laughed. "But do you think she did the right thing? Moving back to the States and keeping Eddie and Terry apart? I know she had her reasons but that seems cruel to me."

"Like I did when I wouldn't take the boys to Africa?" Amanda asked, frowning as she turned to look at him. "Do you think that was bad for Phillip and Jamie?"

"No, of course not! I didn't mean it like that!" he replied quickly. "I meant the way she… I mean, you never told the boys Joe was dead or anything like that! They always knew who he was."

"Oh, I see," she answered before pausing for thought. "Actually, yes, in that way, I think she was wrong – but I still understand why she did it. If King Eddie was even less mature back then than he's been this week, and I had a small impressionable child, I might have hightailed it out of there too. Kids change your perspective on things – she probably thought Terry would be happier not knowing what he was missing. And he turned out okay."

"I don't know – I guess I just…" he glanced at her as she turned to give him her full attention. "I think he might get resentful. I know I spent a lot of time as a kid hoping that maybe my parents were alive somewhere and in hiding or something, like a movie. But if they showed up now and that was true? If I found out Uncle Robert had been lying to me all this time? I'm not sure I'd be able to forgive any of them once it had really sunk in."

Amanda nodded and looked back at the reunited family. "I can understand that, and you're probably right – he'll be angry at some point thinking about what he thinks he missed. And if he'd been brought up around Eddie, it might be different – he might have learned to be completely self-absorbed and foolish, but I think Sandra has brought him up well enough that he'll get past it. "

"Never underestimate the American housewife or mother," Lee laughed into her ear as they moved forward to greet the couple and their son just in time to hear Eddie talk Billy into performing one last time.

Settled into their seats behind Sandra and Terry a little while later, Lee dropped one arm over the back of Amanda's chair and leaned in to tease her. "You know, I should be mad at you."

"Why?" she asked in a confused voice.

"Because I gave you a very good reason to wait in the car today – one you agreed to – and you still followed us into that hangar, against orders."

"Oh well, now you see, you did give me a good reason," she nodded. ""You said I should stay there in case you needed me to call for backup."

"Yes, I did."

"But what you didn't say was how I was supposed to _know_ if you needed backup," she continued in her most demure tone. "So I just had to come in and check, didn't I?"

Lee tilted his head and gave her a quizzical look. "You _had_ to?"

"Mm-hmm. Very hard to watch your tail from outside, you know." She suddenly grabbed his hand from where it was resting on his thigh and brought it up closer to examine it. "And look at that – no cuts or bruised knuckles this time from beating up the bad guy."

"And you're going to take credit for that, I suppose?" Lee had given up all hope of maintaining a straight face at this point.

"Maybe some of it," she replied. She turned his hand back and forth between hers again before looking up with laughing eyes. "It was very Indiana Jones of you – the way you just shot Crowley in the arm like that instead of trying to wrestle him with your bare hands. Maybe Eddie's not the only one growing up around here."

"You sure know how to hit a guy where it hurts," he growled suggestively and leaned in closer. "Maybe next time I'll remember that _other_ Indiana Jones scene."

"Which one?" she asked, suddenly breathless from the look in his eye.

"The one where he gets Marion to kiss everything better."

"Oh." Amanda considered that for a moment, mesmerized by Lee's intent gaze. "Well, you do still have some injuries left from that run-in with the vice cop…and we'll want this to be all better so you can co-sign that loan for me tomorrow..." She was just starting to lift his hand closer to her face, watching him impishly as his pupils widened when the stage lights went on and Eddie and Billy walked out on stage. The moment was lost as Lee turned to tease Billy and pulled his hand away to clap.

Amanda was going to let it drop, but found herself instead, reaching for his hand again and holding it between hers, turning it back and forth again as if she was studying it. When Lee turned to look at her, she said "You know… in that scene, Indy falls sound asleep right in the middle of everything just like Sleeping Beauty."

"You've got fairy tales on the brain – kings, queens, long-lost princes and now Sleeping Beauty."

Amanda threaded her fingers with his. "Well, I think everyone's going to live happily ever after." She gave a quick glance at the stage where Billy was now playing, completely immersed in his performance already and most importantly, eyes closed. She lifted Lee's hand to her lips and gently ran them over the marks on his knuckles. "There ya go. All better."

"Yeah, all better," he replied in a low voice, and leaned closer.

"Well, there you two are! I can't believe I almost missed this! He only called at the last minute and then I had to race here all the way from Rosslyn! Is this seat for me? Thank you so much! Lord, it looks like I made it just in time!"

"Hi Jeannie," laughed Lee, turning to greet Billy's wife with a last rueful look at Amanda. "Yep, you arrived just in time."


	3. Rookie Mistake

"Tell you what, I'm going to go back downstairs and get the rest of Zawoski's rookie welcome notes and you can nose around on the computer, how about that? Then you can plausibly deny I was involved in helping you with inappropriate activities and I can tell Billy I did the heavy lifting on the speech."

"The heavy lifting? Really?"

"Wait until you see Zawoski's notes," laughed Lee, holding his hands to demonstrate a tall stack of paper. "Must be at least 10 pounds of paper."

Amanda gave a husky chuckle as she stood up and went to walk behind Lee's desk. When he didn't move right away, she found herself almost walking into him, putting a hand down on the desk to keep from stumbling right into his arms. "Sorry," she said. "I thought you were gonna let me..."

"Oh I am," Lee's eyes were bright with mischief. "But you know, since I'm _leaving…_

"To go all the way downstairs?" she interjected, trying not to laugh.

Lee kept going, barely pausing. "I thought maybe we should implement that new policy you asked for last week."

"Policy? That's what you're calling it?" She was very aware that Lee had leaned forward slightly, placing his hand right beside hers on the desk. "Because I think of it as more of a…recommendation, a guideline..."

"A submission?" His voice had gone low and velvety and she knew she was blushing but no way on earth was she going to back down now.

"Oh I don't think that's quite right either – that sounds much too one-sided. Maybe a proposed code of conduct?"

"So this is a proposal then?" Lee asked with a raised eyebrow.

It was impossible, she thought, for anyone to have dimples that deep. The last time she'd seen this look on his face was right before Jeannie Melrose had interrupted them at the concert last week.

"Proposal? Oh no, I wouldn't go that far. A proposition, maybe?" she suggested and watched his pupils widen. _Oh, that's right Buster. I'm not going to make this easy for you._

"Oh ho ho," he breathed out. "Well, now that's a concept I can get behind."

"Can you?" she couldn't help asking. There was a pause and she held her breath.

"Try me," he murmured suggestively and leaned closer.

The sudden sound of the door swinging open made them both jump and turn as Efraim Beaman backed into the room, carrying a stack of binders. He stopped dead, staring at them in bemusement for a moment as they stared back at him.

"I thought I'd bring you up Agent Zawoski's notes," he stammered. "For the rookie welcome thing. The one you're doing this afternoon. I share an office with him and I thought you might not know they were available, but you might find them useful..." He finally stuttered to a stop, gulping slightly.

"Oh for fu-"

Amanda jumped in as she realized where Lee's growl of frustration was going. "It was very kind of you to think of that!" she exclaimed loudly, drowning him out. "And even nicer of you to carry them all the way up here! Mr. Stetson had been just about to leave to go find them and now he doesn't have to!" She looked at Lee, grinning impishly. "Isn't that nice, Lee? That you don't have to go anywhere?"

"Just dandy," he muttered in a dark tone. "Thanks, Beaman."

"No problem." The younger man stood there for a minute, Adam's apple bobbing slightly. "Is there anything I can do to, uh, help you with it? The speech, I mean?"

"Not unless you wanna give it," said Lee, slightly snarkily. Beaman looked wildly between them, obviously unsure if he was being teased or not.

"No, that's fine," Amanda answered firmly but pleasantly. "I'm sure Mr. Stetson can manage just fine on his own, just like Mr. Melrose _asked him to_. Can't you?" She turned to glare at Lee, who read her signal perfectly correctly that he was taking out his frustrations on the wrong person.

"Yes, I can," he muttered. "Thanks for the offer though."

"No problem. Anytime." The young agent looked like he wanted to say something else but finally just dashed for the door, and disappeared back down the hall.

"See?" snorted Lee. "Poodle."

"More like a pack mule today," commented Amanda. "Be grateful – he saved you a trip downstairs."

"That's right, I was just about to leave." Lee turned to her, dimples and grin back in full force. "What were we discussing before he walked in?"

Amanda slipped around him and sat down at his desk, pulling the computer keyboard toward her. "Well, it's moot now – you know, since you're not leaving." It was all she could do to keep a straight face. She waited a beat, then looked up at Lee's stupefied look. "Tell you what – don't do Zawoski's usual boring speech. The rookies want to know the kinds of things you've seen and done. Go through the binders, pull information on things that interest you and talk about that instead."

Lee nodded. "That actually kind of makes sense."

Amanda pointed at the binders and Lee's box of slides he'd left on the desk. "Right. So you find some good juicy stories in there, make some notes and while you do that, I'll try and track down an address for this guy to give him his money back. And then, when we're both done, I'll look over your notes and see what I can suggest to organize them. Sound fair?"

"Yeah, sounds fair," he agreed. He picked up the binders with a resigned sigh and went to sit on the couch. "You know, I hoped this day was going a whole different direction when it started."

"Yeah, well, suck it up, Stetson. I didn't think I was going to get my car smashed up right after I just got a new fuel pump, but that's the way it goes some days for us normal people."

"If this is normal, I can't say I like it much," he muttered.

"I'll bring you around to it yet, Scarecrow," she responded, not looking up from the computer.

A low laugh was his only response.


	4. Heart Broken

If Lee had thought the day had started badly, it had only gotten worse with the realization that Steven Sallee was still alive and in Washington. No matter Billy's doubts on the matter, Lee had already been pretty certain that Amanda had stumbled into something as usual, even before they'd found poor Millicent MacDonald strangled, a broken doll abandoned in the middle of a mundane suburban house.

 _No_ , he thought, sadly, _not just a house, a home_.

For all that he teased Amanda so often about normal people, it had really hit hard when he'd found her pale and trembling in the living room. It still never failed to tear her up when innocents were involved; from that first time when Frank Bodine had died in her arms to poor Marianna and then Cheryl, Amanda had never developed the hard shell that most agents did, even after all this time. Maybe it was because she hadn't had to do the training they had, the training that made killing and death part of her 'normal' life.

Would encouraging her to take further training help her, he wondered, or would it just make her hardened and as apparently unfeeling as the rest of them? No, he thought, wincing – she's been an innocent victim of violence herself, she'd always carry the burden of that knowledge and empathize with the victims. And she'd made him better that way too – since Andy, he'd let himself get cut off from caring about people, about how their work affected people. _Real people_ , he mentally corrected himself.

But Amanda, she was like his mirror image, caring the most about those intersections. In so many ways, that made her the perfect complement to him, she cared about the _why_ of the job while he worried about the _how_. And now she was sitting in the Q Bureau late at night, staring at Millicent's diary as if it could tell them where Sallee was, with such a dejected look on her face because she knew that as far as the Agency was concerned, they were out of time.

"It's just so sad," she murmured, running her fingers across an open page. "She wanted so little and he took even that away."

He came to sit on the edge of the desk in front of her. "I know."

She leaned back in her chair and looked at him, a troubled look in her expressive eyes. "You know who she reminds me of? Agnes."

It took him a moment to place who she meant. "Agnes Snow?" he asked, waiting for her to nod in confirmation. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he sighed.

"They were both just nice people who wanted a little affection in their lives and suffered for it," Amanda went on quietly. "I mean, if anyone can sympathize, I can – Alan Squires did the same thing to me, so I shouldn't even be surprised but you know what? No matter how long we do this, I'll never understand how there are people who can take advantage of people like Millicent who aren't even part of their plan – she was just his landlady, and all she wanted was for someone to care about her and have someone to care about in return. She was so happy with the tiniest gestures and now I just read them and wonder why he was setting her up that way." She held up the diary and let the pages flick along her thumb. "Why couldn't he just be the boarder who lived upstairs and kept to himself? Why did he have to bring her chocolates and sheet music and make her think he cared? It was so cruel when he must have known he was never going to stay. That's the part I don't get – he gained nothing from it, and she lost everything."

"He saw her as a means to an end, I'm afraid. He might have had a plan to use her to help him get away before anyone could make the connection to where he was hiding." He paused at the pained expression that went across her face. "Amanda, you know that even if you hadn't tracked him to her house, he still would have killed her, right? Sallee's a dangerous man and he didn't get to be the most untraceable guy on the most-wanted list without making sure he scrubbed every trail clean behind him."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," her voice was cracking with emotion. "We might have caught him before he could do whatever it is he's planning, or while he was doing it or any other time and she'd still be _alive_."

"I know," Lee nodded. "But we wouldn't have even had the chance to do that if you hadn't run into him and at least now we _do_ know he's here and planning something – and Billy believes you, which he might not have if she hadn't been killed."

"That's pretty cold comfort, Lee, but I guess it's something." Amanda stood up, still holding the diary. "It's just so frustrating – we can do our job every day and men like Sallee and Nick Cross still find a way to victimize the most vulnerable people!"

Lee stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing circles on her back until she relaxed. ""I know – it's unfair," he agreed. "But we can at least try and stop him, right?"

"Yeah," her response was muffled against his chest. She pushed herself back and ran the heel of her hand across her eyes before taking a deep breath. "Do you think anyone would mind if I took this home and looked at it some more? I feel like I could get more out of it if I just keep looking."

"Yeah sure," Lee answered, searching her face, trying to decide how upset she still was and if he should let her leave yet.

"Thanks," she sighed. "I'll bring it back in the morning." She turned to pick up her purse and walked to the door.

For a split second, he was tempted to call her back, to try and tease her about leaving without saying goodbye properly the way they'd joked just that morning, see if he couldn't lighten her mood just a little bit, but caught himself. "Goodnight Amanda," he said softly instead as she went out the door, apparently lost in thought.

He walked to lift his jacket off the coat rack when he heard her footsteps slow in the hallway, then turn back to the Q Bureau. He looked at her quizzically as she re-appeared in the doorway, serious expression on her face. Without a word, she rested a hand on his shoulder and tipped up slightly on her toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Goodnight Lee." She dropped back and looked at him with a firm nod.

Before he could react, she'd turned and disappeared back down the hall.


	5. As You Like It

"Don't think I didn't notice that you stayed in the van."

They were walking out of the Hotel Monroe headed toward the 'Vette.

"Well, Billy told me to," Amanda smiled up at him. "I wasn't about to disobey a direct order, was I?"

Lee tilted his head and gave her a slanted grin. "You? Never."

"Besides," she went on placidly, "I already told you I'll stay out of the way if I have a good reason. And you had lots of backup so I didn't have to watch your tail, did I?"

"No, I guess you didn't," he smiled back at her. "Thank you for that."

"For not watching your tail?" she asked with a confused look.

"For keeping that promise," he answered. "That could have been you he grabbed instead of Francine."

"And it was better if it was her?" she asked, making it sound a bit like a reprimand.

"Of course not," he said, not rising to that bait. "But unlike you, she's very experienced and professionally trained – she wasn't going to let Sallee take her out of there without a fight. I didn't need to worry about her, I just needed to make sure she had backup."

Amanda considered that, and then nodded her acquiescence. "That's fair."

They reached the Corvette and Lee opened the door, waiting for her to step in, raising an eyebrow when she paused, one hand resting on the doorframe.

"Don't think I didn't notice you said goodbye," she said with a soft smile.

"I did?" he asked, honestly confused.

"You did," she confirmed. "Before you went to find Sallee…" She stepped closer and took his forearms in a light grip and squeezed gently, lifting her eyes to look into his. "Even if it was just that."

"I couldn't do more, you know that. Not with everyone there, not when Sallee was loose somewhere…" he began to protest.

"Lee," she stopped him dead, lifting a hand and placing it on his chest. "It was enough." She gave a firm nod and repeated, "It was enough."

She watched him consider that in turn, until he nodded back.

"Okay." He looked down at where her hand was still resting on his chest. "But you know, most _normal_ people wouldn't think that was enough… they'd say I still owe them…"

The corners of her mouth were curling up, despite herself. "Owe is such a big word in this case."

He tilted his head and gave her a teasing grin. "Do you think so? Because my uncle always said a gentleman should pay his debts promptly and without complaint."

"Without complaint?" She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Oh no, I don't want to think you feel this so-called debt is a burden. You should pay and like it."

His hand had moved up to rest on top of hers. "Oh, I think I'll like it."

She could see the dimples threatening in his cheeks as he tried to keep a straight face. She dropped her eyes to stare at their hands for a moment, then lifted them again to meet darkened hazel ones. She took a deep breath. "Lee…"

"Hey Stetson! There you are! Billy's looking for you back inside to answer something about the fight you had with the dead guy in the basement."

Lee lifted his head to glare at Duffy, and tried to ignore Amanda who had succumbed to silent shaking laughter. "Seriously? Now?"

Duffy shrugged. "Don't ask me – he just sent me to look for you." He seemed to notice Amanda for the first time but didn't appear to make anything of their proximity - probably because everyone was just used to the way they were around each other, Lee thought.

"I can give you a lift back to the Agency if you want, Amanda," Duffy went on. "Billy's got me going back there to take in this first box of evidence."

"That would be lovely, Dave," Amanda smiled at the other agent. "Lee was just taking me back to get my car anyway." She turned to Lee and beamed at him. "I have someone coming over for dinner so I'll just get going. Goodnight, Lee."

 _Oh, you're enjoying this way too much, Mrs. King_ , he thought. "Yeah, that'd be great, Dave. And I guess I'll see you later, Amanda. By the way, I might be in late tomorrow – got a date myself tonight with my best girl."

He almost had her laughing out loud now, watching with satisfaction as she obviously bit the inside of her cheek to keep from doing so. "Well, make sure you change those clothes before your date," she shot back. "Looks like you took the knee out of those trousers kneeling in all that broken glass or something."

Lee looked down, noticing for the first time that he really did have a jagged tear all the way through the right knee of his trousers. "Oh yeah, thanks." He looked up and met Amanda's laughing eyes again. "Although… she might like that rough and tumble look. Offer to stitch it up, act all motherly, you know that kind of thing…"

"Good point. She might…" Amanda paused purposefully and let the tip of her tongue run gently along her upper lip. "…like it."

It was definitely time for Lee to concede. He moved her gently so that he could close the Corvette door again and turned to look at Duffy, who just looked bemused by the entire exchange. "Where'd you say Billy was?"

Duffy gestured over his shoulder. "They took over a room off the lobby for an incident room. He's probably still in there."

"Okay, thanks." He took a deep breath and turned to look at Amanda who had now crossed her arms and had one hand lifted to rest against her mouth, trying to hide her grin. "See you later, Amanda."

"See you later, Lee."


	6. Like Normal People

"Billy said to tell you again what great work you did with that diary, by the way."

"Well, that was kind of him."

Lee had actually managed to get to Amanda's for the promised steak dinner not more than 40 minutes behind her – and he'd taken the time to go change those torn trousers for a pair of jeans and grab a bottle of wine to go with their steaks.

"It's not _kind_ , Amanda. You deserve the credit for figuring it all out."

Amanda shrugged, slightly embarrassed by the praise. "I just read it – anyone with enough time could have done the same."

"Maybe, but they didn't – and you did," he said earnestly. "And let's face it, we live in such a bubble sometimes that we had _Crypto_ look it over. I mean, how dumb was that? There she was, writing perfectly normal things about her perfectly normal days and half the Agency is trying to figure out what the secret meaning is behind it." He lifted his glass and toasted her slightly before taking a sip. "No, you get all the credit for understanding normal people – again."

"Oh, I don't think it was so silly to have Crypto look at it," Amanda answered seriously. "She might have been working with him after all, and she might have been using code phrases or something. After all, it was kind of odd that she had it under a floorboard in her bedroom."

"That's true," he conceded. "That is kind of odd – why do you think she did that?"

"Oh, who knows - maybe it gave her a romantic thrill to think that someone might sneak in and read it – or that he would. Or maybe she remembered about how someone did that in a book she read when she was young and thought it sounded adventurous."

"Maybe," agreed Lee. "Or maybe she had a nosy mother who used to visit."

Amanda laughed outright at that. "Oh my gosh, yes! That's why I hid mine for years!"

"You used to keep a diary?" Lee perked up, all interest now. "You mean somewhere there's proof of your torrid crushes and misspent youth?"

"Maybe," she dimpled at him. "Pity you'll never find out."

"Don't count on it," he cautioned with a grin. "I might have to do a top to bottom house search someday. You know, for security clearance purposes."

His response elicited one of Amanda's husky laughs. "You're assuming they're not in code – you might still need the boys in Crypto to help you out, even if you did find them."

"You wrote them in code?" he laughed. "Seriously?"

"Well, no not until-" she stopped abruptly.

"Not until what?" he prodded.

"Not until I met you," she confessed.

Lee sat bolt upright, sloshing wine onto the table. "You've put all this in a _diary_?"

"Oh no, no, not all of it!" she rushed to reassure him. "And not in years. Just at first, the first few months when I didn't think anything was going to come out of it. And it wasn't anything about the cases, it was more just… impressions of people and things like that. Nothing classified." She paused and went on, "I mean, I didn't even know what was and wasn't classified back then – it was all need-to-know and secret and 'that's-very-personal-Amanda'…" she said the last one in a deep voice, obviously teasing him.

Lee looked faintly apologetic and she gave a small shrug and finished, "Anyway, I stopped right after that whole amnesia thing."

"Why after that?"

"W-e-e-ell," she drawled the word out. "After I got home from the hospital that first day, I thought maybe my diary would help me remember and then when I realized I'd started writing stuff in code, that kind of frightened me, you know? I mean, I'd only just met you, I mean, well you know what I mean – when you came to the hospital – and you sounded kind of crazy and then there was my diary, all full of the same kind of crazy."

"What kind of code?" he couldn't resist asking.

"Simple keyword cipher," she answered. "But that was the weird part – even though I didn't remember anything else at that point, I still knew the keyword was 'scarecrow'."

He couldn't help smiling at that and she smiled back before continuing. "And I started to try and read it and it was this story about Russian spies and flying a helicopter and crazy things that I _couldn't_ possibly have done and my mother obviously didn't know anything about it – and then twenty minutes later you were in my kitchen telling me I was a spy and…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"So what made you stop then?" he prodded.

"When it was all over, and I did remember it all, I went back and reread it and realized two things – the first thing being that it was really dangerous for me to have that written down if anything ever happened to me and my mother or the boys found it. I mean we'd done some crazy things even then, but that time, with that poison gas, thousands of people could have died… it was the first time I'd really thought about that, you know? About the danger and not the adventure." She looked at Lee, with an embarrassed expression. "I bet you think that sounds silly."

"No, it doesn't," he answered immediately. "Everyone goes into our business at first thinking about the adventure and saving the world – nobody tries to become an intelligence agent because they think they could die doing it."

"Yeah," she murmured. "Anyway, that's when I stopped. Now it's all just up here," she tapped her head.

"Safest place for it," he agreed. There was a beat before Lee asked, "So what was the second thing?"

"The second thing? Oh, right, that," Amanda blushed and Lee couldn't help starting to smile.

"Oh right, that…what?"

"That was when I realized I'd barely written two words about Dean in weeks. I mean, here he was still asking me to marry him and all the mentions he was getting were things I'd lied to him about like 'Had to explain to Dean why I had cuff marks on my wrist' or 'Dean was happy to get his hunting coat back – I'd forgotten I still had it.' You know that sort of thing. Anyway, that's when I broke it off with him. I mean I'd completely forgotten him during all that… it seemed wrong to keep seeing him when I was obviously already pulling away."

"You forgot me too," Lee reminded her, recalling that flash of pained disbelief when she'd looked at him like he was a stranger, and a frightening one at that.

"Not really," she said, reaching out to take his hand across the table. "I still trusted you, even though I really shouldn't have, with your crazy stories about spies and information drops and dangerous men after me. I couldn't remember you but I still _knew_ you, somewhere in there." She tilted her head and asked, "Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," he nodded. She nodded with relief and went back to her steak. He gazed at her for a long moment, then finally said, "Amanda? Why did you ever take that package? That first day?"

She looked at him in surprise. "You needed help. Why wouldn't I? I mean, you'd used that same trick before hadn't you? Most people will help if you ask them, I think."

"Yeah, that's true – but then why did you keep coming back? You were scared enough not to bring it to that party because you were suspicious but really you could have just brought it and walked away."

She finished swallowing her last mouthful of dinner, and put down her fork, then considered his question carefully as if she really wanted to give him the right answer. "Well, I guess at first I wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything illegal or that you weren't and then after that…" she shrugged. "You needed my help."

"And because you thought it was romantic? All secret assignations in trench coats and car chases?"

She gave off one of her deep chuckles as she picked up their plates and walked to the sink. She smiled at him over her shoulder as she went. "Oh I think, the romance went out of it pretty fast when my first-ever car chase was in a garbage cart through a garage, remember?"

He had to grin back at her fond expression, before turning serious again and standing up to follow her with their wine glasses. He leaned on the counter, watching her run the hot water and add the soap. "I guess what I'm asking is… you were so upset yesterday talking about Millicent and Agnes and how they'd been betrayed by dangerous men but… you did the same thing, getting involved with me. That could have been you."

"Ah." She paused to slip the plates into the water, watching them disappear below the suds. "I guess the difference is that I knew you were dangerous already. That gave me an advantage they never had."

"What do you mean?" he asked. "You weren't scared of me, were you?"

"Well, not exactly but for starters, I had just watched you from the train, getting beaten up by those men, but then…" She picked up the cloth and began to clean the dishes absentmindedly. "Then there was the car chase and the post office break-in – which I still can't believe I let you talk me into – and maybe then I was a little scared of you but after we got arrested, you had to take me to the Agency." She stopped and stared out the window – the same window where they'd had so many conversations over the years – and he wondered what she was remembering. She gave a little shake and looked over at him. "And when we got there, everyone was so serious and obviously concerned and even though he was angry, I could tell Mr. Melrose really respected you. And even after all that, even when you were being a bit of a jerk, I could tell it was it was just frustration because you wanted to make it right. There were agents dying but you weren't concerned for yourself, you just wanted to catch them."

"I wasn't concerned for myself because I didn't much care what happened to me back then," he confessed.

"I know," she answered, and he knew she really did understand. "You were so angry in those days at… everything. But I guess I was still in pain a bit myself back then, after J.C. and then the divorce, so I recognized it in you. Agnes and Millicent had rose-coloured glasses a bit, but I like to think I was a bit more cautious, and I knew somehow what you were like, deep down."

"That I was dangerous, you mean." He felt vaguely hurt that she could think of him that way, that he could ever have made her think that about him, even if they were friends now.

"You still are," she gave him a soft smile to take the sting out of her words. "But only for the bad guys."

"Did you still believe that when I hit you that day in Ned's? Only for the bad guys, I mean?"

She turned wide eyes on him. Neither of them had _ever_ mentioned that day, not since he'd apologized and she'd forgiven him. Seeing the look on his face, she dropped the dishcloth and put a hand on his arm, both of them oblivious to the soapy water seeping into his sleeve. "Oh Lee, of course I did! I was so worried about you, and I didn't know what was wrong, of course, or that it was a cover, but I knew that wasn't you. Not _this_ you," she moved her hand up to rest it in its customary place over his heart. "That was Scarecrow. I knew this Lee would come back."

"Not many people would have believed either of those things." He put his hand over hers and lifted it to drop a kiss on her fingers. "Thank you for not losing your faith in me."

"You were my friend," she answered solemnly. "I just wanted you back."

"Well, you got me." He gave her a soft smile and watched her eyes crinkle as she took in the double meaning.

"Yeah, I guess I'm stuck with you now." She turned and picked up a cloth and handed it to him. "So make yourself useful and help me out by drying stuff."

He chuckled and took it, glad that somehow she'd managed to lighten the mood again, and decided he'd take the opportunity to change the subject too. "Did I tell you they already figured out why Sallee targeted that event?"

"It wasn't just because the Vice President was there?" she asked, over her shoulder as she poured out two cups of coffee, adding the cream to his without having to ask and then slicing the cake that was out on the counter.

"No, it turns out, two years ago, Ari Gershen headed the anti-terrorist unit that went after Sallee and he was also one of the organizers of that reception tonight."

"Ah ha. So Sallee wanted revenge."

"Yeah. That, and notoriety. And by taking out as many people as he could, he'd have both - with spades." Lee finished drying the last plate and put down the cloth. He moved past her to pick up the cups and walked into the family room instead of back to the table. "And I thought you told me that you were just gonna throw something together," he teased.

"Well, there was a bake sale to raise some money for Jamie's soccer team and I baked a cake, and then I baked an extra one." She slipped onto the sofa beside him and handed him a plate. "There ya are. Homemade, and I hope you like it _._ "

Lee cleared his throat in what sounded suspiciously like a smothered laugh. It took her a beat to realize what she'd said before she lifted her eyes from her plate to look at Lee, who was watching her intently with dancing eyes.

 _Hoo boy._ She let herself get lost in those eyes for a moment, before giving a laughing sigh and turning to put her plate down, noticing how quickly Lee followed suit. She turned to face him – and watched him gird himself for some kind of speech.

"Amanda…" he said, reaching out to take her arms as he so often did.

In that long horrible moment, she was certain it was going to be The Speech – again.

 _Oh no. Not this time_. Without conscious thought, she put her hand on his cheek and leaned in to finally kiss him, watching his eyes widen at the unexpectedness of her attack as she got close and then unbelievably… the sound of her mother and the boys on the front door step.

The next few seconds were a whirlwind of activity as Lee raced for the back door and she raced to hide the evidence of his presence.

 _Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave,_ she chanted silently as she ran to follow him out the back door. As she pulled the door shut quietly, hoping her mother wouldn't hear her, she was more startled than she should have been to feel Lee's hand on her arm, swinging her around into the circle of his arms, just as he had in the park earlier. Her heart had been beating just as fast then, but for an entirely different reason. Neither of them spoke, both smiling ruefully at the almost inevitable interruption. She could hear her mother inside, calling her, but just for that moment, the world stood still and it was just the two of them. A second later, she was reaching up and he was leaning down – and she could feel him smiling against her lips. It was sweet, it was chaste – and it was all they were going to get – this time.

Lee pulled back and looked down at her, seeing all her affection and trust in the dark eyes laughing back at him. He started to lean down again, but some instinct made him veer off before Dotty could make it to the back door and find him there. He could hear Amanda sigh in good-humored frustration as he disappeared into the darkness and couldn't resist calling back to her. "Hope you liked it!"

Her gurgle of laughter floated through the night air. "You know I did."

"Enough to put it in your diary?"

"No," she chuckled. "It's all staying up here." She tapped her head just as she had earlier. She heard his low laugh from the shadows.

"Goodnight, Amanda."

"Goodnight, Lee." She waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps heading down the drive, and lifted her hand to run lightly along her lips. "And in here," she whispered to herself, dropping her hand to rest over a racing heart.


	7. Seconds Away

"Soooo, handcuffs, Mrs. King? I had no idea you'd have such a knack for entry and escape. Good thing I never tried locking you in the car to make you stay there."

She could hear the laughing subtext in Lee's voice as they headed down the stairs, Mrs. Marston watching them out of the corner of her eye, obviously hoping for another juicy tidbit like Lee had accidentally given her a few weeks earlier.

"Well, you know me," she answered as he swung open the elevator door and waited for her to step in. "I get myself into things and then I gotta get myself back out of them."

The door swung shut and the elevator car began its slow descent. She was all too aware of Lee's proximity in the small space, the scent of his cologne, the way she knew without looking that he was watching her and smiling. It was like she could _hear_ the dimples, for heaven's sake.

"Did you know," he commented, apparently apropos of nothing. "It takes 35 seconds for this elevator to get all the way downstairs?"

"You've timed it?" She couldn't resist; she turned to face him in the small space, enjoying the way he was working at maintaining a straight face.

"Take it from a trained agent, you just never know when you might need to know something like that."

"I'll bet."

"A lot can happen in 35 seconds," he offered in a mock serious tone. "35 long, _uninterrupted_ seconds"

She knew her lips were twitching and he was also barely keeping the smile off his face.

"Ah, but now we only have maybe fifteen seconds left," she countered.

"You can do a lot in fifteen seconds too," he grinned and leaned toward her, with obvious intent.

"And we're on camera," she reminded him, pointedly, as she reached up to straighten his tie.

"Oh. Right." He sighed in theatrical disappointment before grinning again as the door opened onto the corridor. "Wanna grab lunch later? Somewhere that's not… on camera?"

"I think I'd… like that," she smiled back at him, watching his eyes light with humor at her choice of words.

"Good, you're here already," said Billy walking up to join them. "I just got this back from the boys downstairs, I want you two on this one."

As they turned to follow him down the hall, their eyes met in mutual disappointment – they probably weren't getting lunch out anywhere today.

* * *

He couldn't believe it – she'd actually fallen for his suggestion that he help her run lines. Until a few seconds later, when it became clear she hadn't fallen for it at all, she'd just walked into the trap right alongside him. He realized she was asking him something.

"Will wine really make you forget?"

Lost in the moment as she sashayed toward him, and put her hands on his chest, he couldn't remember if that was a line from the play or not, and glanced down at the script in his hand. "Uhhhh…"

"Yes?" Amanda drawled, still in character.

Or was she? _Only one way to find out_ he laughed to himself as he tossed the script away.

"I have another in mind," he murmured seductively as he pulled her close, and felt her starting to shake with laughter. "No hangover either."

"That isn't your line," she reprimanded him, even as she stepped closer.

"Who cares?" he shot back, and heard her chuckle in agreement as he drew her in.

 _God, she has the most adorably dirty laugh…_

He was so intent on finally getting that second kiss from her that he never heard the door swing open, or Francine enter until Amanda was suddenly springing back, cheeks blushing the same color as her shirt.

Thank God it has at least been Francine who would tease them mercilessly but privately. He knew she was enjoying this a little too much as they stammered out their excuse about rehearsing, and if he hadn't been so thrown by her sudden appearance, he probably would have laughed at that "opening night" line. As it was though, all he really wanted was the ground to open up and swallow her – which it eventually did when she beamed at them and wheeled back out into the corridor, trilling with laughter.

They were both silent for a moment before Amanda said seriously, "We have really got to start locking that door."

"Yeah." He turned to her with a grimace. "You know she's lurking out there waiting - I better go see what those tapes show."

"I gotta get to the theatre anyway," she sighed. "See you there later?"

"Yeah, maybe with luck we'll get that lunch one of these days."

"I wouldn't count on it," she answered, with a glimmer of a smile.

"A man can hope, can't he?" he grinned back at her. "See ya later."

Amanda stood still for a moment, trying to get the blush back out of her cheeks and her pulse back under control. "Mon Dieu, mon Dieu," she muttered as she picked up the script and headed out the door.

* * *

"What do you think Tony put in that glass?"

"I don't know, but we'll find out."

"I can't believe I liked him!" Amanda burst out. "All this time, I've been assuming he was just caught up in something, that maybe the Russians were trying to hide code in his script or something… that maybe he really didn't know anything and now… well she must have something the Russians want and he's helping them!"

"Now don't jump to conclusions, Amanda." Lee was trying to drive and only partially listening because he was momentarily distracted by the way his soaking wet shoes were making it difficult to keep his feet on the pedals. "I mean, it might not have anything to do with the fact that whoever she is, she has government muscle guarding her – given the obvious reason they were in a hotel room in the middle of the afternoon, he might have been doing nothing more than slipping her some Spanish Fly to make things interesting."

There was something unearthly in the silence that followed his comment. Distracted by traffic and the uncomfortable sensation of wet clothes, it took him a moment to realize that Amanda was making no sound at all. He turned his head to look at her, confused for a beat by her unnatural paleness and the look of panic on her face.

"Oh my God." He yanked the 'Vette over to the shoulder of the road and reached across to pull her into his arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he crooned over and over in a voice rough with worry as she clung to him, shaking.

"We have to go back," she was struggling to pull out of his arms. "We can't leave her there with him, we can't let him…"

He grabbed her wrists, trying to keep her looking at him, trying to calm her down. "Amanda, we can't go back – those guards already think we're up to something – they won't believe a word we say." She was staring at him, uncomprehending – he could feel her pulse pounding under his fingers.

"We have to," she repeated. "She doesn't know…"

"What we _have to do_ is call Billy and get him to send someone to check it out through other channels," he said quietly. "Amanda, I know what you're thinking but I need you to calm down and think about this. She wasn't there under duress, she was obviously happy to be there, and they were obviously there for all the usual reasons, right? You saw the champagne, the roses, the negligée, right? So whatever he gave her, it probably wasn't for that, okay? I should never have said that – I wasn't thinking."

He held her gaze until she finally focused on him properly, and she nodded slowly, still trembling. "Billy will send someone?"

"We're almost at your place - I'll call him from the car while you go in to change, okay? I promise." He lifted a hand to cup her cheek. "I promise."

She nodded again, pulling in a deep shuddering breath. "Alright."

He drew her close, relieved when she relaxed into his embrace. "I'm sorry," he repeated into her hair.

"Still not your fault," she said, almost sounding like she was smiling when she said it.

"For what I said," he clarified. "Whatever he gave her, I shouldn't have dismissed it that way."

"It's alright, I overreacted."

"Amanda," he squeezed her more tightly. "No you didn't."

She lifted her head to look into his eyes, seeing all the concern there that she could hear in his voice.

"You didn't," he repeated. "You reacted like a normal person when I said something stupid like an agent."

"Still having trouble with the normal people thing, aren't ya?" She was still a bit shaky but at least she was starting to sound a bit more like herself, as she played absentmindedly with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"Yeah, guess I am," he agreed. "All this time around you, you'd think I'd have done more studying."

"There's still time," she answered with a soft smile. "You just need more opportunity."

"I'd like that," he smiled back at her.

"I'd like that too." Suddenly she started shivering, but for a whole new reason, and looked at him wryly. "And we can talk about it all you like later, but right now, I'd really like dry clothes."


	8. Not This Time

"So Dr. Von Klausen is still going to support him, even after everything he did?"

"Yeah," Lee shook his head, equally mystified. "She said she understood how important it was for him to get the chance to have his work performed and how Krutiov could take advantage of that obsession and that she didn't believe he had any intention of hurting her."

"Well, maybe he didn't," Amanda answered, considering. "He didn't harm her physically and even Valentine backs up his story that he insisted she had to be safe before he'd hand over the tape."

"He still drugged her," Lee eyed her as she walked beside him. "That's pretty indefensible"

"He did," she agreed, "And I'm not going to try and defend that, you know I'm not, but I think that he just managed to convince himself that it was a sort of victimless crime. She wouldn't get hurt, no one would find out she was the leak, and he'd get his play and his girl. I mean, he obviously wasn't in it for the money."

"You mean there's no money in neo-absurdist theatre?" Lee chuckled as they stepped into the elevator to head upstairs. "We got a standing ovation without even trying – how can that not be a way to print money?"

"Oh, like you understand anything about it," she grinned. "It's just yet another gap in your knowledge, but don't worry, I can fill you in. If Jamie could grasp it, you can."

Lee started to laugh as he recalled watching from the wings as Amanda's family crowded around her after the play had had its final curtain call. "He didn't really like it, did he?"

Amanda shot him a quick grin. "Well, they all liked that it was a lot shorter than it was supposed to be," she quipped. "And Phillip enjoyed the fight scene you did. But actually, Jamie asked me some pretty good questions about the symbolism when I was rehearsing at home so I think he might enjoy some of Martinet's other stuff when he gets older."

"Well, that's put me in my place," Lee smiled at her. "I'm being outdone in theatre appreciation by a ten-year old." He tapped his watch significantly as they stepped out into the lobby. "35 seconds – wasted again," he muttered, flapping his tie at her. Mystified by the odd motion, she looked down and for the first time realized it was covered in marks that looked suspiciously like lipstick kisses. She stifled the laugh that wanted to burst out of her and Lee watched with a grin as her shoulders shook as she walked ahead of him.

"Well, Jamie's always been a bit of an old soul, you know. Very mature – unlike some people," she tossed over her shoulder as they began to climb the stairs, with a brief acknowledgement of Mrs. Marston's head nod.

"He must get that from his mother," Lee commented. "I swear you must have lived about ten lifetimes the way you keep coming up with things you did before we met: sailing, journalism, theatre productions… and now you're turning out to have an almost unnatural knack for picking locks. I can hardly wait to see what's next."

"You'll have a front row seat for whatever it is, I'm sure. And it'll give us a lot to talk about during boring surveillance jobs." she teased. They reached the upstairs corridor and she returned to the original subject. "Will they give Tony some therapy or something before they try him?"

"Yeah they will," Lee said comfortingly. "Krutiov really messed up his mind."

"Yeah".

Amanda knew she should feel sorry for Tony and the way he'd been psychologically manipulated but she still wasn't quite there yet. Maybe therapy would help him the way it had for her and he'd be able to make amends - the fact that Maria was already so forgiving boded well for him. Unlike her and Leslie, Maria's betrayal had come from someone who hadn't intended it and who seemed truly sorry for his actions.

 _Like Lee when he had to slap me_ , she mused. _And I forgave him._ They walked into the Q Bureau and she realized Lee had said her name.

"Yeah?" She turned and was startled to see the same apprehensive look on his face as she had that day in the restaurant when he'd been about to apologize and wasn't sure she'd accept. She looked at him in confusion – what on earth did he have to be worried about? She tilted her head and watched him gird himself, then look at her with tender eyes.

"You know... you and I do have a lot to talk about."

She could feel the smile starting to spread across her face. "Yeah?"

He began to pace toward her. "Yeah. We have been ….getting to know each other for what ah…."

"Three years," she supplied, just as he said the same and they both laughed as he reached to take her hands gently in his.

"And I think, there's a lot about you that I don't know…" he continued. He looked at her for a beat, as if he was trying to discern if she was on the same page. "I'm sure going to enjoy trying to find out."

They stepped toward each other, both of them relaxing as they realized they'd done so in unison. Amanda slid her hands onto his waist and leaned in – only to leap back as they both heard Billy and Francine in the hallway.

 _Why do we keep trying to do this in places where we know we're going to be interrupted?_

Lee closed his eyes and grimaced in frustration, before wheeling around and stalking to the door, snapping the lock before Billy could try the handle. He knew there was a very good possibility Billy had seen his shadow against the glass, but he was too frustrated to care.

"No, not this time," he growled, and turned back to Amanda who was watching him with a worried look. He paused, wondering whether that expression was because of him or because she was worried about getting caught again – it wasn't the flight reaction he'd seen on her face so many months before, this was something different. He walked toward her, trying to gauge that look, still uncertain when she kept her eyes locked with his, rather than letting them slide past his shoulder to watch the door.

Lee reached to take her hand, a sense of relief washing over him as she squeezed his fingers in return. Her expression was still serious though, and he felt a brief moment of panic that he'd misread the situation.

 _Oh God, I'm rushing this – she's not ready, we've only just started to explore this and oh hell, I've just_ _locked_ _her in a room with me… what was I thinking?_

Amanda drew in a breath, recognizing the look of jangled nerves on his face. What had been a flirtatious game for the last month since that trip to California had suddenly turned serious, and she could feel the awareness of that strumming between them like a taut string.

 _This could change everything…_

Remembering that night at her house, she realized Lee was overthinking again and that he needed her to take the lead, at least at first. She lifted her hands to his shoulders, smiling faintly when he stared down at them in amazement almost as if he thought they were acting on their own, looking back in her eyes as if to confirm she was seeing the same thing. Seeing her smile, he started to grin back and slipped his hands onto her waist. They stood for a moment, both waiting to see who was going to move first or what catastrophe would happen now, before Lee started to chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Amanda's smile broadened. "Yeah," she breathed out as if she understood exactly why he was laughing. All their nerves went out of the window as Lee leaned in to gently press his lips against hers and heard her give a faint hum. He pulled back, briefly concerned she'd changed her mind, and watched as her eyes slowly opened in confusion at his movement, eyes that were warm and full of emotion. He stopped to drink in that expression, trying to memorize it before leaning in to kiss her again. Her hands slipped up his chest and around his neck, pulling him closer.

Her lips parted slightly under his, allowing him to take her lower lip between his and tug it gently, feeling her exhale gently into his mouth. One of her hands had moved up, fingers in his hair as she pulled him closer. Following that pressure, he moved his body forward, but misjudged so that she overbalanced slightly and stepped back, hitting the desk with a surprised 'oof' at finding herself with nowhere to go.

Worried that he was crowding her, Lee straightened and pulled her away from the desk, swinging her around so that now he had his back to the desk. He slouched back against it, never letting his hands leave her waist, but now slightly more level with her, and let his gaze sweep over her. She looked so beautiful, with the flush rising in her cheeks, her lips slightly puffed already from that last kiss, and looking at him wide-eyed at the sudden change in position, that his breath caught in his chest. In the next instant, she was stepping back into him, arms sliding back around his neck, forehead resting against his as his arms tightened around her. They stood there together, not speaking, just letting their breath mingle in the small space where their lips were almost, but not quite meeting.

"We should have started locking that door much sooner," Amanda murmured, laughing softly.

"Yeah." It was all he could manage, the way his heart was racing.

"Are you ok?"

Lee couldn't help chuckling at her question. "Aren't I the one who's supposed to be asking you that?"

He could feel her smiling, felt it in the way her skin shifted under his where her forehead still rested against his, felt it in the way she shook slightly with laughter at his response, felt it in the way her body relaxed under his hands and melted against him.

"Probably," came her rejoinder. "But you seemed nervous."

Lee pressed his lips firmly against hers again, before moving to start dropping kisses along her cheek, lifting one hand to cup her face and let his thumb caress the other cheek. "I was. I am," he admitted.

"Really?" he could hear both the teasing and the doubt in the soft laugh that followed his answer. "I make you nervous? That doesn't sound much like Scarecrow."

"No Scarecrow here," answered Lee, dropping a kiss near her ear, and for a beat she wasn't sure what he meant. " _He_ is never going to be _here_."

"Oh." She pulled Lee closer so that his face was buried in her neck, and her nose was against his scalp. She inhaled deeply, heady on the mix of cologne and heat and _Lee_. "Okay." They stood like that for a moment, until she finally admitted. "I think I'm more nervous than you."

"Wanna bet?" he huffed out against her skin. Lee lifted his head and moved to look at her, his hands running up and down her upper arms in a familiar rhythm. "You're my best friend," he said softly. "Can I have this and not lose that?"

Amanda smiled and gave a laugh that sounded suspiciously watery before reaching to cup his face in her hands. "Of course you can – you know you can."

"You sound so sure," he answered, searching her eyes.

"I _am_ sure," she replied. "Lee, what you had with Andy… you know you can have both – that's how it works when it's right."

He tilted his head, bolstered by her certainty but watched her chew her lip as she waited for him to respond. "So why would you be nervous?" he asked finally.

"Because I'm not…" she paused, then, "How do I compete with that?" she blurted out.

"You don't," he said simply and watched her eyes widen and her hands drop away from his face. He reached to grab them between his. "It's not a competition," he went on. "Amanda, you know that." He pulled her in and kissed her gently, still reveling in the fact that he could do that. He stood up and drew Amanda into his arms, letting his lips rest against her temple. "I wish you could have met him – you two would have adored each other." He felt her take a deep breath. "I know that sounds strange but… I feel sometimes like he sent you to me, to save me, not just that day, but... Because you'd understand that he and I… and you and I…"

"It's all connected," she finished for him.

"Yes," he said with relief.

"Well, I guess you were right then," she pulled away so that she could smile at him, "We have a _lot_ to talk about."

"And we will," he grinned back. "But first…" he dipped his head, stopping his lips a millimeter away from hers. "Where were we?"

That fantastic dirty laugh bubbled out of Amanda. "Here," she murmured, brushing her lips against his. "And here... And here... And…"

"Here," growled Lee as he proceeded to silence whatever it was she was going to say next.


End file.
